Tag Archives: texts

How to Restore Deleted Texts

As difficult as it may be for some people to believe, texts are a primary method of communication for much of the world’s population.  As a result, some very important information is often sent through texting.

Text communication is not used exclusively for business of course.

Partners, boyfriends/girlfriends, and friends often exchange really nice words and compliments via texting.

So what happens when you accidentally delete a text (one that you wanted to keep) in the process of doing something else on your phone?  What if you want to restore a deleted text? Continue reading How to Restore Deleted Texts

How can I read the texts that my children are sending and receiving?

This email comes to us from Diann Childress (who has a question about monitoring her children’s texts.)

Hey IDSecrets,
I have been enjoying your articles about the moral implications of whether or not it’s spying to read someone else’s texts. I think it’s interesting moral ground when you’re talking about reading texts sent by your spouse/boyfriend. Surely though, those implications don’t extend to me as a parent, right? I would argue that it’s good for me as a parent to know what texts my children are sending. My question is not whether it’s morally right to do so. I think it’s not only my right, but my responsibility. However, if I do want to “spy”, how can I read the texts my children are sending and receiving?

When it comes to your children, we wouldn’t begin to tell you what to do.

Our personal opinions vary widely.

You could trust them and to text appropriately.  You give your children a lot of confidence when they know you trust them to make good decisions.

On the opposite side of that… there’s a great line in the movie Animal House.

The censored version of the line goes something like “You *messed* up. You trusted me.”

We think trust is a good thing.

Continue reading How can I read the texts that my children are sending and receiving?

Is it okay to read someone else’s texts (Part 2 of 2)

We started this 2 part article with a post about How to Read Someone Else’s Texts.

You might also want to check that out if you haven’t read it already.

Today, we are going to go into the other side of this question.

Is it okay to read someone else’s texts?

This question takes many forms, but generally comes down to people asking the question from two perspectives.

  1. Is it morally (and legally) okay to read someone else’s texts?
  2. What will be the potential social consequences if it is discovered that I am reading someone else’s texts?

Is it morally okay to read someone else’s texts?

We’re not here to be the moral definer of your life.

So this is general information to be taken and used in creating your own opinion.

Whether or not it’s morally okay to read someone else’s texts would depend on what kind of moral justification you would need to intrude into someone else’s life.

Make no mistake… when you read someone else’s texts without their permission, you are intruding into their life as much as if you had taken their diary or their journal and read it.

If you tell other people about what you discovered when you read the texts they have been sending and receiving, it’s like sharing someone’s most private information with the world.

Generally the way to think about this question, and to decide if it’s “okay”, is to ask yourself if you would violate someone’s privacy to read or share their diary.

If you would, then you may decide that this is okay for you to do.

If you wouldn’t read their diary, don’t take their phone to read their texts without their permission.

Instances where this might be okay:

  • Someone is suicidal and needs intervention
  • Someone is planning crimes that would result in the death of others
  • Pretty much any situation where someone’s life is in peril and where the information from a text message could be used to prevent it.

Outside of that extreme, you’ll need to use your own judgment based on the relationship you have with the person whose texts you’re trying to read.

Also, you will want to judge the severity of the reasons which have you thinking you should want to read their texts.

Always though, open communication is best.

It never feels good to have someone go behind your back. Let them know your concerns and give them a chance to really have you really listen.

This means you have to be open to listen.

Is it legal to read someone else’s texts?

We’re not attorneys, and any advice you ever read within our site is never a substitute for professional legal advice or representation.

That having been said, the legality of reading someone else’s texts has a lot to do with the context in which the reading happened.

There is some case law to say that it’s fine for a partner to read another partner’s texts, and there’s also case law which says that it’s not okay to read a boyfriend’s texts without his permission, even if his phone is left at your house or apartment. So, it seems for the time being that the question about whether or not it’s legal to read someone else’s texts is under debate.

What will be the potential social consequences of reading someone else’s texts?

These consequences are too numerous to go into. However, there is one social consequence we’d like to address.

Loss of trust.

If you decide to take someone’s phone and read their texts, particularly if you plan to show them that you’ve made a copy of the text, you should be prepared that you will likely lose (possibly forever), their trust.

Here’s how you could do it:

Ending the relationship (and parting on bad terms)

If they have violated your trust through something they have done, and you want to end the relationship, then here’s a good way to end it.

Confront them with the proof that you took something they thought was private, and use it against them.

Find deleted texts and make copies of current and deleted texts using a device like the Cell Phone Spy.

Send them out to all of their friends, and post them in places where you know the messages would be the most embarrassing.

If ending the relationship is your desire, this should work as a relationship ender in most cases.

We don’t recommend it.

Keeping the relationship (or at least leaving it amicably)

If you are hoping to preserve the relationship, you might want to be more tactful in your approach. If you have already read their texts and found out something negative, avoid direct confrontation about it.

You’ve done wrong as well in sneaking off or using their phone to read their texts.

This kind of argument can easily and quickly escalate into a “who was more wrong” and “who did what to who first”, and no one ever wins those kinds of battles.

The best ways to deal with these kinds of situations come from an old book called “How To Win Friends and Influence People”. If you haven’t read it, you can read it for free online here.

From that book, you will learn some simple strategies for getting through difficult situations with grace.

This concludes the 2 part series: How to Read Someone Else’s Texts, and Is it okay to read someone else’s texts.

If you do want to get a backup of someone’s texts, or read messages they have deleted, take a look at the Cell Phone Spy.

4 Reasons You Might Want to Read Someone Else’s Texts

Aside from the obvious privacy implications (which we’ll address in a later article), and leaving out the moral implications of whether or not it’s ok to read someone else’s texts (even if the person whose texts you’re reading is your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or spouse), here are four reasons you may want to read someone else’s texts.

1. You suspect your boyfriend is texting or talking to his ex and (rather than just having an open conversation about it) you decide you want to know what kinds of texts he’s been sending to his ex.   We recommend an open conversation first, but reading his texts might be a good way to find out if he’s cheating.   Communicate first, but if you still suspect he’s lying, you could read his texts.  (The same goes if it’s your girlfriend sending texts to her ex).

2. You suspect your partner/spouse/wife is having an affair.  She seems to sneak off to have private texts and seems to delete all of her texts right away.  (This could also be the case with a husband.) Again, we recommend an open conversation first.  But if that fails, you can still read deleted texts using a device like the Cell Phone Spy.

3. You’ve found a wireless device or cell phone that doesn’t appear to belong to anyone, but you don’t trust the lost and found.  You want to return the to it’s rightful owner.  Reading someone else’s texts might give you an insight into finding out who the phone belongs to.

4. You think your employees are texting during the hours they should be working, or you think your employees are divulging company or trade secrets via text message.  NOTE: This only works if you own the cell phones as the company owner.  Reading the texts of one of your employees (if the phone doesn’t belong to you) could land you in a lot of trouble.  But if it’s a company cell phone, and the employee has signed a waiver to receive that cell phone, then reading the content of those texts could be within your reach as an employer.

Again, we believe that open communication is always best.

Work FIRST to find open ways of communicating and talking about your fears.

But, if that fails, one cool little device that will help you is called the Cell Phone Spy.

It is basically a USB SIM Card Reader with software built into it which allows you to read the texts stored on that SIM card.

The Cell Phone Spy includes Recovery Pro software which allows you to backup the phone’s contacts, view the last 10 numbers dialed, and of course, view all deleted SMS text messages.

Read deleted texts and see previous phone calls with the Cell Phone SpyIf you find yourself spying on the texts of your partner or significant other, communicate your fears first.

If you still need a way to read your boyfriend’s texts to his ex, check into Cell Phone Spy.

It’s a bit on the expensive side, but worth it if it gives you peace of mind.